How do children view death?

A child's view of death varies with age. It is important therefore that death should be discussed in a language that children can understand at their stage of development and maturity.

• Age 0-2 years:
  
  
  • No cognitive understanding of death.
    
  • View death as a separation or abandonment.  
    
  • May be preoccupied with the question as to when the deceased person would be coming back. (This may lead them to constantly search for the person, and involve adults in that search.)
    
  • May despair from the disruption of caretaking.
  
  
• Age 2-6 years:
  
  
  • Often believe that death is reversible, temporary.
    
  • May perceive death as a punishment.
    
  • Magical thinking that wishes come true (such as guilt that they had a negative feeling toward the person who died, and that was the cause of death).
  
  
• Age 6-11 years:
  
  
  • Gradual understanding of the irreversibility and finality of death.
    
  • Concrete reasoning with the ability to comprehend cause and effect relationships.
  
  
• Age 11-13 years:
  
  
  • Understands that death is irreversible, universal and inevitable.
    
  • Has abstract and philosophical thinking.
  • Find it hard, however, to deal with the subtle language and euphemisms (used by adults to soften the reality of the death).
    
  • Find it hard to grasp the full implications of the death. (They may be much more concerned about practical matters which involve them.)
  
  
• Age 13 years or older:
  
  
  • The understanding of death and its permanence becomes well developed.
    
  • This can be the first time that the adolescent is exposed to issues relating to their own mortality. To be faced with death (which is for "old people", in their eyes) is very threatening indeed to adolescents.
    
  • Insecurity about their own future can encourage them to "live for the moment" in a fashion which does not always meet with the approval of their parents and others (such as their school teachers).
    
  • Another reaction of young persons after a death, which can disturb adults is the urgency which they try to replace the dead person with a new relationship. (This sometimes appears to be insensitive but it is their way of shielding themselves from the pain of the loss.)