Are there specific reactions to the death of a sibling?

There are some specific issues, relating to the death of a brother or sister, which adults need to be aware of.

• Children who lose a brother or sister often experience survivor guilt. They can develop a view that the "good child" died and the "bad child" survived. Inevitably, when parents lose a child they often talk about the deceased child in idealised terms. This can make the surviving child or children feel less valued and worthy. As a consequence, they feel it might have been better if they had died rather than the "perfect child".
  
  
• Because parents, when they are grieving, are preoccupied they find it hard to respond to the needs of the surviving child. This can cause the child to feel neglected, particularly if they are not involved in grieving along with the parents.
  
  
• Because siblings enjoy a very special relationship through their experience, secrets and family history, the loss of one sibling may be acutely painful, distressing and disturbing to the surviving one.